I see that my last post was almost a month ago, and posting once a month is really my ideal minimum. It is interesting to me how long it takes to actually write something on here, even though I think about things to write all the time. There is something about actually sitting down and taking the time to write, seeing my thoughts appear in front of me in text form, that is really scary. This is also the same reason why I believe writing to have incredible power. Natalie Goldberg tells us to dive into our first thoughts, especially if they are scary. Situations of creativity that induce fear because of their uncontrolled and unpredictable nature seem to be a theme for my life, and I mean that with sincere positivity. I believe these are our moments of healing and there's no denying that we need a lot of that. Even though I feel this truth with every essence of my being, I still struggle with the often unconscious fear of really facing myself.
It seems this is what is often in my way of sitting to write (or sitting to meditate) and is probably often also involved with resistance to bodywork. I am saying all this to break through the resistance and share some things I have been thinking.
I am hoping between now and the end of the year to do lots of cleaning and organizing (here's to accountability!). As someone who keeps busy, having an uncluttered space seems to be to only way I can keep it going. And by the looks of it, the business isn't slowing down. Since I have completed my Master's this month, I keep thinking that I now have all this free time. That I am on "winter break." I have come to realize this is an illusion. I am not on a break from anything.
We are at the end of an astrological period called mercury retrograde. I don't know exactly what it means, but it happens a few times a year for a few weeks and is not favorable for making big decisions or starting new projects, but it is great for finishing up old business. We've also just had a pretty powerful winter solstice. I don't know how often we have a full moon on winter solstice, but we did this year. I feel it is an interesting play of light and dark. Winter solstice is the longest night of the year and the full moon is the lightest night of the month. We also had a full lunar eclipse that night; it is almost as if earth momentarily lost the light during its darkest period this year. But the light came back that night, and the days have been longer since. I don't think I can fully comprehend what this all means on an energetic level, but I do think we are in for big changes and I am hopeful.
In light of all this (couldn't help it), I believe my shift is career path is something that is crucial to making the social changes we need to to survive. Generally, I tend to focus my activism on individuals. What I mean by that is I believe it is the changes that we make within ourselves and how that translates into our actions that make the global changes that we are seeking. I also believe our bodies to play a fundamental role in this process, which is why I have had a fascination with learning about bodies.
Lately I have been spending a lot of time learning about female bodies and particularly, pregnancy and birth. Through a series of events over the past two months, I have decided to pursue doula certification.
A doula is a trained labor companion that provides continuous support during the birth process. It is a word of Greek origin that meant a female caretaker. Today it has come to refer to a woman who is experienced in childbirth who provides continuous physical, emotional and informational support to the mother before, during, and after childbirth. Though I have never experienced childbirth first hand, the training is designed to make me more knowledgable about the process through books, workshops, and most importantly the experiences of attending births.
If someone would have told me six months ago that this is what I would be doing after I graduate, I wouldn't have easliy accepted it. But after a series of events beginning in November, there was almost no question for me. Though it was an easy decision, it will mean some changes in the way I run my business and my life. Being a doula means being on call. Birth does not run on schedule. Baby's come when they are ready, whether the calendar has reached their projected due date or surpassed it. And sometimes the process is long, draining, and scary, which is why the presence of a doula is so important.
The creative act is the same whether it is the creation of a new life or the creation of our lives, because either way it is scary and uncontrollable. I guess that's why I find it so compelling. I am able to recognize that one of my gifts for this life is as a space-holder. This is my role in the treatment room, as a host at open mic, and soon to be also in the birthplace. I constantly find myself in the role of an anchor. Someone who maintains ground while another allows themselves to let go in one way or another. But one thing is for sure, sometimes I need an anchor too.
It seems this is what is often in my way of sitting to write (or sitting to meditate) and is probably often also involved with resistance to bodywork. I am saying all this to break through the resistance and share some things I have been thinking.
I am hoping between now and the end of the year to do lots of cleaning and organizing (here's to accountability!). As someone who keeps busy, having an uncluttered space seems to be to only way I can keep it going. And by the looks of it, the business isn't slowing down. Since I have completed my Master's this month, I keep thinking that I now have all this free time. That I am on "winter break." I have come to realize this is an illusion. I am not on a break from anything.
We are at the end of an astrological period called mercury retrograde. I don't know exactly what it means, but it happens a few times a year for a few weeks and is not favorable for making big decisions or starting new projects, but it is great for finishing up old business. We've also just had a pretty powerful winter solstice. I don't know how often we have a full moon on winter solstice, but we did this year. I feel it is an interesting play of light and dark. Winter solstice is the longest night of the year and the full moon is the lightest night of the month. We also had a full lunar eclipse that night; it is almost as if earth momentarily lost the light during its darkest period this year. But the light came back that night, and the days have been longer since. I don't think I can fully comprehend what this all means on an energetic level, but I do think we are in for big changes and I am hopeful.
In light of all this (couldn't help it), I believe my shift is career path is something that is crucial to making the social changes we need to to survive. Generally, I tend to focus my activism on individuals. What I mean by that is I believe it is the changes that we make within ourselves and how that translates into our actions that make the global changes that we are seeking. I also believe our bodies to play a fundamental role in this process, which is why I have had a fascination with learning about bodies.
Lately I have been spending a lot of time learning about female bodies and particularly, pregnancy and birth. Through a series of events over the past two months, I have decided to pursue doula certification.
A doula is a trained labor companion that provides continuous support during the birth process. It is a word of Greek origin that meant a female caretaker. Today it has come to refer to a woman who is experienced in childbirth who provides continuous physical, emotional and informational support to the mother before, during, and after childbirth. Though I have never experienced childbirth first hand, the training is designed to make me more knowledgable about the process through books, workshops, and most importantly the experiences of attending births.
If someone would have told me six months ago that this is what I would be doing after I graduate, I wouldn't have easliy accepted it. But after a series of events beginning in November, there was almost no question for me. Though it was an easy decision, it will mean some changes in the way I run my business and my life. Being a doula means being on call. Birth does not run on schedule. Baby's come when they are ready, whether the calendar has reached their projected due date or surpassed it. And sometimes the process is long, draining, and scary, which is why the presence of a doula is so important.
The creative act is the same whether it is the creation of a new life or the creation of our lives, because either way it is scary and uncontrollable. I guess that's why I find it so compelling. I am able to recognize that one of my gifts for this life is as a space-holder. This is my role in the treatment room, as a host at open mic, and soon to be also in the birthplace. I constantly find myself in the role of an anchor. Someone who maintains ground while another allows themselves to let go in one way or another. But one thing is for sure, sometimes I need an anchor too.
